Future Firefighter??

[Hazinson]

A fireman is washing a firetruck out in front of the fire station when he notices a lil girl on the sidewalk. Shes riding in her little red wagon with her dog and cat pulling her along. Shes wearing a lil red firemans helmet and has a hose all coiled up inside, and theres little ladders hanging on the sides of the wagon. The fireman walks up to get a closer look. "Thats a mighty fine firetruck ya got there,'" he's says admireably. "Thank you Mister Fireman" the lil girl replys sweetly.
The fireman takes a closer look and notices that one rope is tied to the dogs collar and the other is wrapped tightly around the cats testicals.
"Lil Partner, I dont wanna tell you how to run your rig, but if you tied the other rope to your cats collar, I think you'd go faster."
The little girls replys sweetly, " Your probably right mister but then I wouldnt have a Siren."

[Hazinson]

A young boy is hitchhiking down a road and he walks and walks but cant get a ride cuz he has his Great Dane dog with him. Finally this older gent see's him and feels sorry for the little boy and stops. He says to the little boy "I'll give ya a ride son but that big dog aint getting in my Cadillac." "Thats ok mister he'll keep up". So the older man lets him in his car. They get going down the road at about 30 m.p.h. and the old man turns to the boy and says, "Wheres your dog at son?" The lil boy rolls down the window and grabs the the dogs ear and says, " Right here beside us mister." The old man thought 'son of a gun' and sped up to 50 m.p.h. He turns to the boy and says, "Wheres your dog at now son?" The boy grabs the dogs ear again and says "Hes right here beside us mister." The old man thinks to himself, Son of a Bitch. So he thought he'd be a smartass and kicked it up to 80 m.p.h. The old man turned to the boy and was about to speak when he missed a curve in the road and they flew down the bank, thru some shrubs and BAM!! hits a big tree. The old man shakes it off and says Son You OK? A little shaken, the boy says yea, yea I think so. The old man looks out the window and says where did your dog go? The little boy grabs the dogs ear and says he's still right here beside us. The old man shakes his head and says,"That aint your dog, Your dog didnt have a collar." The little boy looks at the old man and says "That aint is collar mister, Thats his asshole-- He aint used to stopping that quick!"