-Echoes Medical Association Press Releases updated 7-3

[zarnill]

Press Release 7-3
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EMA EMERGENCY PRESS RELEASE: We have discovered a critical danger to the core psychology to all of EQ. After an in-depth experiment which consisted of playing soothing, calming music such as Enya, while engaged in wholesale slaughter can result in mental conflict that can lead to a psychological break. The experiment details. Repeating "Enya" Watermark album, while swarm killing for 200 hours straight while drinking Jack Daniel's no.9, and consuming 11 pots of dark roast coffee leads to sociopathic behaviors, drooling and babbling for reasons yet unclear. It is recommended that all EiE members play a wide assortment of rock and/or violent music to keep your brain from becoming confused and staying a focused killer as opposed to a random sociopath.
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Press Release 6-20
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EMA confidentiality policy. The EMA has revised its confidentiality to add clarity, transparency and respect to the process and patients. For the sake of confidentiality when we cure diseases what was cured will be held in strict confidence. So when we cured Azdaar of irritable bowel syndrome we won't publish that. Since curing the patient is the most important mission of EMA when we fail to cure we will announce /gu Cure for Thungg's "rash" post Ak'anon drinking and whoring binge was NOT cured please cast another cure to ensure that he receives proper medical attention.

For transparency and privacy we will no longer use the person's full name to protect their identity. For example: we will post on the web: Cinnwi (a Halfling cleric) Condition: Eaten by Dragon. Treatment: Feed dragon laxatives until body recovered. Rez cast at 96%. Existing Conditions from Trauma: Missing right middle toe and left nipple. Severe psychological trauma. This will protect the confidentiality while assuring proper medical record keeping.

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Press Release 5-31-2013
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Raiders losing attention during raids cause deaths or in some cases wipes. 53.85% of those distractions are related to bladder control issues. Since beer consumption is now limited to 1/2 case before each raid the problem is mitigated but not resolved. As a result the EMA has developed a new protocol for all raiders: It is now advisable for all raiders to have an empty coffee container filled with two cups of cat litter for convenient urination during raids. Please keep your fellow raiders informed of distractions. /rs URINATING MIGHTLY (15 second urination), /rs Urinating Standard (10 second urination), /rs Peeing like a school girl (5 second urination). Maxing out the AA "Bladder Control" will help by 6% with a 30min cool-down time.
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Press Release 5-29-2013
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There has been a recent increase in injuries due to drinking while using spirit of eagle, cheetah and bard speeds. Last night an unnamed EiE member had SOC while drinking, saw a spotted bunny yelled "BUNNIES" and slammed into a pillar at 70mph. Fortunately the EMA (Echoes Medical Association) emergency response team was there and rendered aid restoring the lost 11 HPs. Recommendation: The current recommendation of no more than 1 case of beer before raids is being reduced to no more than 1/2 a case of beer. We realize this is an extreme reduction.
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Press Release 5/17/2013
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After doing extensive testing we have discovered that Lava does not exfoliate the pours in your skin and may represent and undefined health risk. Having repeatedly thrown Gnomes and Halflings into lava and testing the effects we can confirm that there appears to be some level of health detriment. Recommendation: Please refrain from jumping, being thrown, or swimming in lava until further tests are completed. Current recommended treatment is to NOT run! You cannot outrun lava. Stop! Drop! & Roll!
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Press Release 4/28/2013
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Mod Rod abuse. There has been a rise in mod-rod abuse. ISSUE: Mod rods have a certain amount of health damage they cause. Some folks are using mod-rods with 1 more health deduction than they have with the AA Delay death to go into a catatonic, hallucinate state. Recommendation: We do NOT recommend "Rod Huffing" as it is impossible to make raid times if you cannot heal yourself out of a hallucinogenic state. The obvious exception would be a hallucination putting you into an environment similar to "Heavy Metal" (first one not second), in which case we highly recommend you stay catatonic.

Last edited by zarnill on Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:17 pm, edited 4 times in total.
zarnill Lesser Peon

[Gorkeyah]

What if I've been listening to violent music while working on my sewing?

[Ferriciean Aetas]

I typically listen to the Violent Femmes or metal while raiding!

[zarnill]

What if I've been listening to violent music while working on my sewing?

You will most likely end up repeatedly stabbing your fingers in rage leaving a bloody patch that will become infected leading to a failed amputation and you will die.

[Ghime]

Tried listening to the Bee Gees, but alas that did not work as I killed my cat !