Hope all of you are doing well, life here is very good. Bought a pony and got a new job at a new station that doesn't treat me as disposable (which has a web-stream, if you ever you know... wanted to listen to me - www.kwod.net 9pm pacific to midnight, good for you late nighters!)
However, I found this posted by a user called 'Remicion' on Something Awful and had to share it. It brought back some memories and filled in some history that I'd always been curious about.
What a small world the internet is, no? Miss you guys very much!To get a few things out of the way first, yes, I have been posing as a female for the last 5 years, predominately on online video games. No, this is *not* 5 years total of work. I would take 6-10 month vacations at times when I wouldn't play any online game whatsoever. (Yes, I realize this could/should have went in the games section, but a lot of it took place outside of them, so I felt it could also go in GBS).
No, in the 5+ years I have been posing as a female, I have never once cybered another guy. (I am not a homosexual, nor have any interest in the same sex whatsoever. I have a girlfriend. There are no deep, psychological issues I have in which I secretly did this to alleviate some homosexual feelings. However, I'm not a homophobe, so you'll just have to take my word on the cyber issue)
Did I really score over $15,000 in the 5 years? Yes, I have. Probably a good bit more, if you add up the fact I have never once paid for my own game subscriptions.
Your first reaction to this is probably "wtf", and then "ONLY $15,000 in 5 years?". Gather around, and let me tell you the story, young'uns.
It all began in '01, when a long time friend got me interested in playing EverQuest. He had been pretending to be a female in game, for some time now. He was the typical flirting, "hehe"ing whore, that was pretty obvious to most cynical and untrusting people, that there was really a guy behind the screen.
Skip a few weeks, and I decide it is time for me to go on my own. I immediately know what to do. I reroll on another server, and begin my facade.
My mission:
1. Play the game normally. Male character. Male name. Male attitude. NO "hehe"ing, flirting, typical retarded fake slut nonsense.
2. Find a very high level/rich/influential person.
3. Befriend them, WITHOUT using any feminine charm whatsoever.
4. After some time passes, *accidentally* let it "slip", that I am indeed female.
Now this is a very, very precarious moment. Their initial reaction is ALWAYS "no way".
There is only one way I have ever found to counter their disbelief and turn it into complete and total belief. Attack them.
"Yes, I am, and I promise you that if you ever tell anyone else, I will never talk to you again."
This will shock them straight to their senses, and beyond. A female...that plays the game...that doesn't want people to know...SURELY they cannot be using people for items!
I will tell you of a portion of my greatest conquest below, and let you judge for yourselves. (I've decided not to include real life names, or AIM names, as I'm not sure by the rules if it pertained only to other SA members or not)
As per the above, I found myself a lovely officer of a raiding guild on the Rodcet Nife server, named Keeneye, of the guild Forsaken. Now, near instantly after pulling the above routine on him, he befriends me, and begins editing raid logs, to give me insane amounts of "raid points". (These are used to bid on items that drop during raids. Raid items = worth mega bucks to places such as gamepal.com or mysuperstore.com)
I leech this guild for all it is worth for 3 months, and then convince this officer to leave the guild with me, to join another. During this transitional phase, I let it "slip" that I owe money on my internet bill, and they are going to shut it off if I do not pay. (Oh nos!)
Lo and behold, he hands over to me, even without my asking, over 3 MILLION EverQuest platinum. "here, take this, and sell it to IGE.com."
Which I immediately do, for a profit of $850.
More-over, within a week of doing this, I decide it is time to cash out, and sell my entire character (by then, the #2 ShadowKnight on the entire server), on PlayerAuctions.com, where I receive another $1,200 for him.
This was over $2,000, for 3 months time. Which really cannot even be considered work, seeing as I was doing what I enjoy (playing a game I liked), never once had to do anything I did not want to do, or even really pretend to be someone I'm not.
This has been a small portion of my life over the last 5 years, and I thought I should share it for entertainment, especially as a first post.
You may be inclined to disbelieve it at first, however there are a few goons here who know me, and can confirm I am indeed a very, very manipulative bastard, and ultimately capable of such an act.
More-so, I'm not e-proud of what I've done. But yet, I feel no remorse for having pulled one over on such desperate fucktards. There are many more stories I can share, perhaps start giving out in game names, who knows, perhaps you'll see someone you know
Ninja Edit: changed from $10,000 to $15,000, after taking the time to guestimate and add up all the year's profits.
Remicion fucked around with this message at Aug 06, 2005 around 00:08
