I thought /gu chat was strange at times

[Danton]

Here are some quotes from public speaking that make me laugh.



"I?m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
Hillary Clinton

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.?
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.


?The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It?s only the people who make them unsafe.?
Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and ex-mayor of Philadelphia

?I?ve always thought that under-populated countries in Africa are vastly under-polluted.?
Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries

?After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."
Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

"I haven?t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.


"It isn?t pollution that is hurting the environment, it?s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.?
Dan Quayle

"Solutions are not the answer."
Richard Nixon

"The internet is a great way to get on the net.?
Bob Dole

"It?s time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
Dan Quayle

"You can?t just let nature run wild."
Wally Hickel, former Alaska governor

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
Dan Quayle

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it?s got a particularly unique situation."
Dan Quayle


"Where?s Austria?"
David Hasselhoff, Baywatch star, when told he has five gold albums as a singer in Austria.

"Good looking people turn me off. Myself included."
Patrick Swayze

"Smoking kills. If you?re killed, you?ve lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign


"There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964.?
Roger Daltrey

"I feel my best when I?m happy."
Winona Ryder

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can?t help but cry. I mean I?d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Mariah Carey

"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.?
Miss Alabama at the 1994 Miss Universe pageant, when asked ?If you could live forever, would you and why??

"I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our 52 states."
Raquel Welch on Larry King Live

"I don?t know all the certain words to word it."
Vanilla Ice, on why he hired a ghostwriter for his autobiography

?I can do anything you want me to do as long as I don?t have to speak."
Linda Evangelista

"A bachelor?s life is no life for a single man."
Samuel Goldwyn

"We all get heavier as we get older because there?s a lot more information in our heads.?
Vlade Divac, Basketball player

?I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Every city I go to is an oppurtunity to paint, whether it?s Omaha or Hawaii."
Tony Bennett, Singer

"Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
Britney Spears

?In an action film you act in the action, in a drama film you act in the drama."
Jean-Claude Van Damme

"We?ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation

"I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time."
Mariah Carey on hearing of the death of the King of Jordan.

"To have your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from god"
Celine Dion