A Son's Letter

[Mysticluv]

(Found this while cleaning out my email.)

A father was passing by his son's bedroom and became astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed DAD.

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the enclosed letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice, even with all of her piercing, tattoos and tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, she's pregnant and Barbara assures me that we will be very happy.

You wouldn't care for her since she is so much older than I am, but she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood enough for the while winter. She wants to have many more children with me, and that's now one of my dreams too.

Barbara has taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all of the cocaine and ecstasy we need. In the meantime, we pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so that Barbara can get better , she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,
John

P.S.
Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at Billy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card, which is in the center drawer of my desk. I love you!

P.P.S
Please call when it is safe to come home..